The Great Golf Day

The Hallowed time is upon us again...the annual Staff Golf Day. In past years I have been able to avoid the event with excuses of having to work, not having to work, or alien abduction. This year however, we were told "NO EXCUSES". It's not that I don't like the game...but that the game doesn't like me. I played once at a resort waaaay down south. A monkey stole my ball. Seriously. (which reminds me, I meant to send the monkey an anniversary card this year) To prepare for the fiasco, Viv and I ventured out to a driving range to hone our skills. And by "hone" I mean "humiliate" and by "skills" I mean "suck". The serious golfers on either side of us pinged and ponged that little white orb far and wide. There was a thick cluster of balls around the 150 and 200 yard markers. Show offs. There was also a thick cluster of obviously defective balls, about two feet in front of Viv and I. Drive? We could have thrown them farther. "Hey", Viv noticed,"Look at your club". A quick peek revealed the problem. The big metal ball thingy on the end was crooked. I touched it, and it fell off the metal sticky thing and landed on my foot. Likely not lawsuit worthy, but I'm mulling it over. The big boss, TOM, is lending me gear to play in our staff golf horror-palooza...so when I saw him today...I thanked him for the upcoming loaner and neglected to tell him about my previous club decapitation incident. I also asked if he could loan me some balls. I won't bother telling you what he said. Look for video of the fiasco on our facebook page EZ ride home with Mark and Viv.